Teenage Angst Has Paid Off Well

I went picking yet again last month, and this time it was to pick my favorite berry (and one of my favorite fruits overall)...raspberries! I love going down the aisles of raspberry bushes and eating them right as I pick them. I keep some in my bucket to buy, of course, but I probably ate just as much. They're so easy to pick and they taste delicious!

This dress is actually a couple of years old, but I don't think I posted an outfit with it until now! It's really comfy and I love the polka dots and little embroidery pattern. It's makes me think of it being like prairie meets Western.

It feels like I should be back in school, carrying my books around and walking from class to class, hating all the homework, but still loving being a student. Sometimes when I'm driving on a sunny weekday afternoon in September, it feels like I could be driving home after just getting out of school, or driving down to get fast food before I had to be back for drama club rehearsals. Seasons, and specifically the smell and feel of the air, usually evoke a lot of memories and nostalgia for me. It mostly happens in autumn and spring, though.

Dress: Forever 21//Shoes: Rialto//Purse: Fossil (thrifted)

A lot of people always say that they hated high school and they'd never want to go back or do it again. I feel like I'm one of the rare ones who actually loved high school and often misses it. It's part of the reason I pondered becoming a teacher at one point, but then decided it wouldn't be what I wanted to do. High school was just such a special time to me. I learned a lot, wrote a lot, discovered all kinds of music, participated in drama club, fell in love for the first time. It was carefree, exciting, angsty, silly, frustrating, and fun....all of the things adolescence should be. Everything seems so important and life-altering when you're a teenager, and some of the things that you go through are, but the smaller stuff that seemed so big then isn't really that big when you look back on it. But anyway...I enjoyed high school. I liked taking the bus and zoning out while I listened to my headphones. And when we could all drive, I enjoyed rides to and from school with my friends. I loved being able to be on stage in drama club. I loved writing English papers. I had a great group of friends and teachers that I could connect with and encouraged me. I just enjoyed figuring out who I was and where I wanted to go. I'm not saying that I'm not still doing that, but that was like the sentimental foundation for who I am today and who I will become in the future. It was a good time, even when I was an angsty mess who "hated" everything during times of it.

When I was a teenager, I was constantly looking for and exploring new music. I would spend hours on iTunes sampling different bands and songs, looking through all of the similar artists of my favorite bands to find new favorites. I feel like there's some magical window where you can take in new music like a sponge and just soak it all in and love it all. I don't know about anyone else, but now I feel like I'm not as open to new music as I once was. Not that I'm opposed to listening to a new band, but I don't actively try to anymore. Other things have taken up my free time. I know there are probably thousands of bands I haven't heard and would love, but I just don't have the time to find them and I wouldn't even know where to start. There are so many ways to discover new music nowadays that it's a little overwhelming! But to me, it just seems like music is the most important to people when they are growing up. I could be wrong, though!

I feel like I was the most creative between the ages of 14 and 18. I was constantly writing short stories, lyrics, music, poems. I performed in plays. I had started getting into photography and fashion. I was molding and changing into who I am currently. I've kept a journal since I was around 9, so I literally have my growth as a person recorded ever since then. Pretty cool, right? One day I'll read them all from start to finish. It'll make for a really interesting read someday.

It's funny how when you're a teenager, you're in this rush to grow up. When you're 10, 17-year-olds seem so awesome and grown up. And when you're 13, you want to be 18. And when you're 18, you want to be 21. And then when you're 25, 30, 35, sometimes you're wishing you were 20 again. I don't think it's about the age so much as the experiences associated with them that we want again. It's not that people want to be 20 again. They want to relive the experiences and life they had during that period. I believe that age is just a number. It doesn't matter how old you are, so long as you're living life the way you want to, having fun, and making the right decisions for yourself to be happy.